Back In The Saddle

Thursday, September 17, 2009

What a delight it is to report that this will be my last post! I am back at school four half days a week through September, and eager to resume a full time schedule and begin admissions fun in October!

My journey has been filled with so many blessings and opportunities, and I am thrilled to report that I am cancer-free and finished with chemotherapy. Today would have begun my eighth cycle of chemo, had I needed all eight. Thanks to great doctors, a strong constitution, spirit, sense of humor and the support of my family and so many friends and loved ones, I managed to graduate from chemotherapy after six sessions. The last chemo cycle ended right around my birthday, which I am certain was no accident. The celebrations and "ending rituals" were numerous. It was a great feeling to say good-bye to cancer and hello to a new birth year as well as a new school year. Day by day my energy continues to improve. Being back at St. Anne's on a daily basis among the flowers and the children as well as wonderful colleagues is especially energizing indeed. And so, it is with the most profound gratitude and love I sign off! Here's to a wonderful, healthy year ahead!

Full Circle

With a new school year quickly approaching, I send off this latest update with renewed health and gratitude.

I am happy to report I have completed my sixth and last chemotherapy session and had a "wrap-up" CT scan. The chemo went better than the previous two rounds, and the CT scan was another indicator of the ALL CLEAR! Although my strength and energy still have room for improvement, being healthy, cancer free and able to return to school makes me more grateful that words can express. The start of a new school year is always one of exciting anticipation, but this year in particular, I feel as enthusiastic as any one of the students at St. Anne's.

Trying to harness my energy, rest when I am tired and not overdoing it are my biggest challenges at the moment.

The sweetness and depth of caring I have felt from so many is truly without measure. I continue to be profoundly grateful to all the people who support me so limitlessly. This heartfelt support has given me strength and hope when I needed it most. Now that I have soaked it in and I am healthy again, I have the opportunity to give it back from the heart as the new school year begins.

A Home Run

Last Thursday I went for my 5th chemo treatment. Before treatment began, I saw my oncologist. He sailed in the door beaming, and said," Mrs. Kelly, you hit a home run. I have never seen anyone respond so well or so quickly to chemotherapy! It's cases like yours that make me want to practice medicine!" HOORAY!

What this means for me is one more chemotherapy in early August, and regular PET scans every three months for a year. Other than that, I will still have to have patience with my fatigue levels and just wait to see what my new hair will look like when it grows back.

The light at the end of the tunnel continues to grow brighter. I am learning soooooo much on this detour, not just about staying present in each moment and knowing change is inevitable, but so much about what love, support and positive thinking can do to get us through the most unexpected, scary moments. I continue to be humbled by all that I have been through, and I am awed and grateful for the amazing support from all of you that has carried me along this path.

Great News!!

Last Thursday, the 25th, I returned to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center for my 4th round of chemo. The Thursday prior I underwent my second PET scan. My visit to RMCC was not only to receive the chemo, but to review the results of the PET scan with my oncologist. During my 3rd round of chemo, the doctor ordered the PET scan, saying we could determine the extent of the cancer. I, in my own way, asked, "Do you mean we can determine the extent of the healing?" I was confident the report would be a good one, since I have been feeling better and stronger, and the evidence of cancer in my neck appeared to have been gone for quite a while.

I had no idea when I sat in the infusion room that Dr. Feiner would come racing over to me, so excited, waving my report in his hand....He had it marked with certain passages circled and exclamation points. Rob and I listened as he went over the report while my nurse was drawing blood and starting chemo number 4....

The report states: "NO EVIDENCE OF RESIDUAL DISEASE"! In other words, I am 100% in remission! What a blessing! What a miracle! Even the doctor couldn't believe the extent of and my rate of recovery! Needless to say, Rob and I are overjoyed with the news! Picture me laughing and weeping at the same time.

I am certain all the love and good wishes along the way have helped the process along. I continue to be so grateful to all of you who visit this blog, think about me, send sweet notes, and say prayers. All those good wishes are the most healing medicine of all.

WHAT'S NEXT:

After the great report, and I might add, my blood work is looking healthier and I am gaining strength and energy every day, I will continue with the chemotherapy treatments. I do not have to return to RMCC for another 3 weeks, when I will have round 5 and a future course of treatment will be determined. My doctor is wonderful...he tends to err on the side of caution. To paraphrase his words, we don't want to put all our eggs in the PET scan basket, so the chemo will continue to be sure we haven't missed any microscopic cells that might not have appeared on the scan.

Regardless, of future treatments, I am definitely on the upswing and the beautiful light at the end of this tunnel is shining more brightly than ever.

Three Rounds Down

On Thursday, June 4 I completed my third round of chemotherapy. Although I would have far preferred to have been at St. Anne's graduation, I was thrilled to get a good report from my wonderful oncologist, Dr. Alan Feiner. The red blood cell count is stronger and other serious concerns are no longer on the radar--truly a blessing. For the first time since April 23, I don't have to return to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center for a full 3 weeks! As much as I love my doctor and nurses, not having to go back for tests, etc. is great! Despite a pretty dramatic slump, which is expected on days 7, 8 and 9 of the cycle, I am stronger than before and I find myself coming out of the slump with more energy. I continue to tolerate the chemo well, with minimum side effects, although the steroids wind me up and when I go off them, the slump is a true crash. The fatigue is indescribable! Because things look as encouraging as they do, Dr. Feiner has ordered another PET scan for Thursday the 18th. That test will help determine the extent of my healing and the remainder (I hope) of my course of treatment. 

I continue to be so grateful to all of you for your ongoing good wishes, notes, cards, energy, and more. Each and every one of you continues to play an important part in my recovery.

Thank You

To all those who have sent kind thoughts, heartfelt notes, funny get well cards, good wishes, prayers and more, I am most grateful. The collective power of your wonderful support is profound and strong positive healing medicine indeed. 

Please know I am overwhelmed by the expansive outpouring of love and support from all of you. Your acts of kindness and your words of love and encouragement mean the world to me. I think of you all everyday, humbly realizing how fortunate I am to be a part of each of you and our wonderful St. Anne's Family.

My Story

 When I left school and headed to yoga at the end of a relatively ordinary day on April eighth, I had no idea the detour my life would take over the next several weeks. 

 A few weeks prior, I had been suffering from stomach aches-- nothing horrible; it was as if I had done too many sit-ups (and I knew that wasn't the case). I wondered if I had an ulcer, but the stomach aches weren't awful and I wasn't too concerned. By the end of March, when the pain began worsen, I made an appointment with my doctor. At that point, a bump appeared on my neck-- I suspected it was only a swollen gland, in spite of having had a flu shot.

 When I went to see the doctor, she thought my symptoms were "quirky" and suggested we keep an eye on things.  When I returned ten days later, the stomach pains had peaked and the swelling on my neck was considerably more noticeable. Visiting the doctor that day, I thought I misheard when she said: "I think you have lymphoma."

--DETOUR--

Somehow, we made it through Easter weekend and the following week was consumed with visits to specialists including an outstanding surgeon and an exceptionally talented oncologist. Under the care these doctors and others, I was flung into a variety of procedures: heart scans, cat scans, bone marrow and neck biopsies, a small operation to place a port in my chest for blood work and chemotherapy, and finally a pet scan to determine the extent of the lymphoma.

***

The following week was spent buying wigs, going to "chemo school" sorting out the business of having cancer while dealing with a flood of emotions, and also beginning my first session of chemotherapy.